The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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