...so i touched it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
