all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
