Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
