I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
