fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
