by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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