I heard we made out
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize