Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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