Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize