Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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