two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
