There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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