we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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