Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
