So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
