He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
