I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Panties = found
Randomize
