Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
