Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
