Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
