Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize