3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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