I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize