should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
