dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
