hell yes lets make some ravioli
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize