The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
