everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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