I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
