remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ttyl tear gas
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
