is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
