she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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