Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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