loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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