I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
