Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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