This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
