ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
