i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
