I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
