He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I want her autograph on my taint
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
