One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
