i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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