Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
