This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
