I just pynch a tree in the face
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
