well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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