If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
