just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
