I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
two words: eviction party
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
