you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
