He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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