I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
