By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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