doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize