I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she pinky promised me she was 18
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
