We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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