i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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