And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
North Korea, Best Korea!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
