i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
